In this article, Kirsty Dewhirst explores the benefits of harnessing one's vulnerability for the development of shared learning and relationships.
“Vulnerability is not weakness. It is the most accurate measure of courage.” Brene Brown
Vulnerability: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded. (Merriam webster c/o Google)
When I first started teaching in the early 2000s, delivering a content focused curriculum and reflecting on my own schooling experiences, I thought the role of the teacher was to know everything; to be able to provide the answers that our children needed. As the role model and leader of the class it was up to me to impart the knowledge they required, fix the problems they struggled with and keep my own personal life organised and fully in control. I soon came to understand that there was no way I could know, fix and manage everything because along with everyone else on this earth, I am only human!
Today, as experienced teachers, we recognise every opportunity there is for learning. We are confident to use the phrase, “I don’t know, how can we find out?” to move learning forward both for ourselves and for our students. We recognise the value of making mistakes in front of our children, to model to them how to be reflective, to learn from mistakes and to instil in them an understanding of normalising imperfection in a world that demands it. The courage to show learners that we need help too, that we find things hard and that we can’t always get everything right is one of the most powerful tools in building relationships with children and unlocking their success.
This powerful understanding can transform leadership both in the classroom and beyond it.
“A leader, first and foremost is a human. Only when we have strength to show our vulnerability can we truly lead.” Simon Sinek.
Think about the teachers and leaders you have respected most and been willing to work hardest for. Were they always the most knowledgeable, efficient, or organised? Or did they have a human side, asking for help, making mistakes or in need of support at times? Did they work themselves to the point of burnout or did they allow themselves to rest? In a time when wellbeing needs considering more than ever, embracing the power that vulnerability has in humanising us all could be the key to unlocking stronger teams, more effective teachers, and more confident learners.
Every teacher and leader has limited experience. We can’t possibly know the best way to balance teaching and supporting our colleagues, meet parent, staff and School Board expectations, and resolve each challenging situation to keep everyone perfectly happy. By pretending we can, we risk putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves leading to the development of imposter syndrome or manifesting as a negative managerial style of dictating rather than leading. One where those around us feel unappreciated, or worse, unseen.
Successful leadership requires strong teams, built on mutual trust and respect. These attributes can only grow from fostering positive relationships, and strong relationships come from knowing real people. When we are known, we open ourselves up to feeling valued, supported and release ourselves from the anxiety and fear of judgement or failure. Admitting the need for help, seeking alternative strategies and being authentic evokes freedom, allowing everyone to be open to work collaboratively towards our ultimate goal as an educative community: to do the best by our students.
Being vulnerable is not easy. It takes courage and a fine balance. Too much vulnerability and we risk turning our teams away from us, presenting as needy or incapable. Without it, we can be seen as narcistic, managers, robots even. Both are leaders no one wants.
How to show vulnerability positively
- Be honest – but measured. You don’t need to share tales of woe and should avoid making it all about you.
- Actively listen – recognise you might not have answers for everyone, but sometimes all people want is to be heard.
- Admit mistakes – we all make them, and it is reassuring to know that even those in the highest paid role make them!
- Ask for help – seek out the knowledge, skills and expertise around you. Empower others and embrace the opportunity to learn something from them.
- Take on board feedback – recognise there may be better ways.
Get the balance right and the rewards are immense:
- Positive relationships with students, teachers and parents.
- A supportive, collaborative, productive community where risks are taken head on, and challenges embraced by all.
- Learning opportunities and personal growth for all.
- A happy workplace.
By being vulnerable, you become approachable, effective, and trusted. By accepting your limitations, you empower yourself to unlock the potential in those around you. You realise you are brave, you are authentic and most of all, you are powerful.
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