Philip Stainton suggests ways to communicate effectively with parents and guardians, especially when there are language and cultural barriers.
When leading or facilitating challenging pastoral conversations, clear communication is vital. The choice of words and the tone they are delivered in can make the difference in directing the agenda and ensuring that all parties come to an agreeable solution. For further advice I often find Ramona Shaw’s ‘The Manager Track’ a useful tool in my back pocket. But what if the pastoral conversations are with pupils and parents who do not speak the same language as you?
Here in China, this is a particular problem and one that can be difficult to navigate. Not only are you dealing with a language barrier, but also sometimes a cultural barrier. When a British person says, “we should have dinner sometime”, are we really suggesting having dinner together, or is it a social etiquette way of saying goodbye? “You should go away and think about it” is another often heard saying in schools. Taken literally the person you are talking to might go away and think about the situation, and still decide they are correct, not understanding the implied tone that they are wrong.
Then you can come across cultural barriers, what is acceptable within one society may not be accepted in another, and the long-standing traditions and history can make this a difficult impression to change.
A list below is how I try to tackle these challenges, it is not an exhaustive list but one that has served me well.
- Always use a translator if unsure. Trying to converse through hand signals or translation apps will cause more problems and a lack of clarity to the meeting.
- Meet with the translator beforehand. A translator who understands before any meeting what the conversation will be about and what your end goals are in mind will be able to help steer the conversation down the intended path and correct any misunderstandings.
- Talk in 1-2 sentences at a time. This allows the translator to fully translate your message and gives time for you to recognise if the message is being lost on the other person in the meeting.
- Avoid idioms. ‘It takes two to tango’ whilst making sense to native first language English speakers, through translation it will lose meaning and often confuse.
- Avoid double negatives. If you are trying to make a point, make the point using positive language, it makes it much easier for your translator to directly translate rather than interpret a meaning to translate.
- Try letting the other person (parent/pupil) speak first in the meeting. This can help uncover any cultural issues you might not have encountered before and gives you time to reflect upon the approach to this new issue.
- Avoid using academic language. Whilst some leaders might like to showcase their lexicon, for those that are non-native to the language, this just becomes confusing and could lead to an unintended feeling of frustration. A simple clear business-conversational style language is more appropriate and complex enough to deal with most situations.
- Read up on cultural differences and the environments of local schools. Being informed on the cultural characteristics of a country, particularly on how local schools in your area operate can lead to a wider understanding and frame of reference for certain behaviours and how they are treated within the community your school resides.
In conclusion, parental communication, particularly when dealing with difficult conversations, is built upon a foundation of trust. Do the parents feel the staff member is listening to concerns and acting with integrity and competence? With the right message and tone, confidence can be gained or restored to enable a better understanding. In situations of a language/cultural barrier, the use of an effective translator can make a defining positive difference to overall communication.